Confident, assertive ones? Shy ones that let me take the lead? Well, confidence and the ability to be assertive are always a plus, they're a big part of effective communication. But what I value most are good listeners who are gentle and empathetic. We must ask questions and listen carefully to each other's answers in order to learn each other's preferences and boundaries. We must approach the other curiously and openly, giving the other enough space to truly be themselves. If we are patient and understanding, we will be more comfortable with each other. I like men who are eager to create this sort of environment with me, one where comfort and intimacy can flourish. I like men who pay close attention to what I say, with words and with my body. I like men who take the time to learn what I like, what kind of date lights me up. It's a good question, with an answer that's ultimately very simple: be kind.